Mommy Musings: I Have Arrived...

Hello, world of blogs!!! I have arrived.

I guess I should start by introducing myself. My name is Abby. I am a mom of 2 beautiful girls. My oldest is 2 years old and is so amazing! She does new things every day and it literally blows me away. My youngest was born almost three weeks ago and is so very precious! She looks exactly like me (poor kid) and I call her my mini-me.

It was the birth of my second daughter that spurred me to start blogging...I just need a place to put my feelings and thoughts down somewhere and get them out of my head! Let me start at the beginning...

We decided this past summer to start trying for a second baby. We had a beautiful 18 month old daughter (Kylie), but always knew we wanted more than one child. After just one month we found out I was pregnant! In December we found out it was another little girl (Madeline). How exciting! We began planning how we were going to redecorate Kylie's room to make it work for two girls and got to work. At the end of January I was diagnosed with a short cervix and funneling. What that means is, at 26 weeks gestation I my cervical length measured 1.2 cm (80% effaced) and it was beginning to open from the inside where the baby's head was resting. Scary stuff! I was admitted to St. John's Mercy Medical Center and stayed there on bedrest for was was quite possibly the hardest two weeks of my life, and was sent home the week before Valentine's Day on strict bedrest- only get up for potty breaks and to shower once every other day. Bleh!!!

So, here comes Madeline after 10 1/2 weeks of bedrest at 38 weeks gestation- totally healthy and beautiful!!! I have to say that bedrest, while majorly inconvenient, was a major blessing. First, I was able to really see my husband in action- he really can do it all without me!!! Second, it gave me an amazing opportunity to really get to "know" Madeline before she was born. I'd had that time when I was pregnant with Kylie, but with a toddler around this time, there wasn't really the option of sitting and just bonding with the new baby as she moved. So, that time, in the end, was really very precious to me.

Madeline arrived, like I said, totally healthy and beautiful. I really could not be any happier or feel more blessed. I really am struggling though with feelings of guilt because I AM SO TIRED!!! I feel like I should be taking advantage of this time I have off work to really spend quality time with my girls, but all I want to do is sleep. I find myself getting cranky in the middle of the night, with Matt and the baby, and feeling resentful when Kylie wakes up for good in the morning because I am so not ready to wake regardless of how late she sleeps. I know I am not the first mother to feel this way and I know there is an adjustment period, but come on!!!

Regardless of all the sleepiness and crabbiness, I feel like I am falling in love with Madeline more and more each day- she is so cute!!! And I continue to be blown away by Kylie. She can sing the alphabet song now and she also recites movies (yes, I know...she probly watches too much t.v., but while on bedrest I couldn't chase her!). She knows segments of both Aladdin and Finding Nemo. She also sings the songs in Aladdin. Wait...she really just sings all day long...sings about what she is doing, who is in the room with her, etc. "You are Momma, That's Baby Madenine, Me am Kylie, Daddy at work..." Ah! I love it! She dances while she sings too...she is a major entertainer! I can't wait to see what Madeline is like...will she be as outgoing as Kylie? Will she be shy? Hmm...more to come!

In the meantime, here are some pics of the most beautiful girls on the planet!!!